Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Vacay Recap {Part Two} - The One With the "Accident"

I'm in the process of recapping our little getaway to Arizona...if you missed part one of my story, you can read that here.

But now, I must continue where I left off...

So we had our little "barge" of tubes just floating gently down the river...probably going no faster than 2 miles an hour.  In fact, at some points it barely felt like we were moving at all, it was so slow.  So relaxing.  But randomly there would be spurts of "rapids" that sent our tubes flying (about 10-15 miles an hour.)  And even though the water wasn't deep, there would be areas in those rapids that huge rocks were protruding above the, whenever we saw one, we would just try to paddle and maneuver our tubes around them.

Well, at about 2 hours into the float, when we obviously were all a few lot of drinks deep, (I had probably already consumed 5 of those yummy Bud Light Straw-beer-itas that taste more like kool-aid than alcohol) our guard-dog instincts of watching for rocks kind of slipped our minds.  That is when the rapids kicked in again.  At this point, my tube was facing backwards, so I couldn't see what was coming.  Therefore I was just relying on my "friends" to tell me what was ahead.
This isn't us, but this is what we looked like floating down the river...
The next thing I knew, I looked at A and I hear him say "Oh shit babe, there's nothing I can........"  That's when it went black.  I had hit a rock.  It flipped my tube and me right over like a pancake being flipped in the air.  I flew off, and got sucked under the rapids.  I remember nothing more than being under water for about 10 seconds as I tried to desperately grasp another tube, a rope, the cooler, basically anything I could to pull me up out of the freeeeezing cold water.  All the while, my body is being drug through the rapids, hitting every other rock and boulder along the way.

When I was finally able to come up (thanks to my girlfriend grabbing my arm and pulling me half-assed onto her tube) I was delirious.  I don't remember anything but all of my slightly intoxicated hammered friends just busting out laughing after they so kindly asked me if I was ok.

I finally came to and just shook my head, trying to put two and two together.  Did I hit my head? No...I don't think so.  Did I break anything?  No...I can move all of my joints, but my lower left back was throbbing like a mother.  Where did my sunglasses go?  Welp, those are a lost cause...I mean I was literally blocking out everything anyone was saying to me, except when I heard A go "Hey babe, I'm sorry I couldn't stop that boulder from nailing you in the ass, but might want to tuck your left boob back in your swimsuit...."

So yeah.  not only did I make a fool out of myself by flipping off my tube, get dragged for a bit, lose my towel, my designer sunglasses and my beer, but my swimsuit top decided to pop halfway off to put my boob, in all it's dried up nursing glory, on display for everyone to see.  Let's just say, I sobered up pretty darn quick after that!

So yeah, I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life, as I really doubt any of my guy friends, that were on that trip, will be able to look at my boobs me the same!

Also, if you happen to be in Arizona, and find yourself on the salt river tubing excursion, and you come across these sunglasses, I would greatly appreciate it if you would send them my way! :)
RIP my favorite sunglasses :(
Tune in tomorrow as I finish up with part three, the final entry, (the one with all of my ootd's) of our vacay recap!

Until next time...


  1. I always say, "once you have a kid(s)...who cares if you flash a boobie! I mean we have to flash all those lady parts when we give birth and go in for our gazillion appt.'s. I figure the whole world has seen mine by now! ;o) Sounds like a fun trip!!

  2. Oh man, I'd love to chill with you girl! You sound way fun and chill to be around. If I ever meet somebody like you I might even get edmonton injury lawyers just in case one of our guests or friends get injured and then try to sue us for their roughing around. Ha ha