Anyway, here we go...So, I was doing my regular "nap time blog reading" yesterday, when I came to one of my favorite, most inspirational bloggers: Lori at FATTOFIT41. As I was reading her post, (like most all of her posts) I was nodding my head in agreement...and seriously looking around for her, as I thought she was directing her post to me. She talked about the scale and how we need to not base our fitness around that stupid number on that
Well. I am guilty of not only weighing myself consistently, but every morning. At the same time: 6:00 a.m. right after I've gone to the bathroom and have stripped off my clothes...completely naked. (I mean underwear and socks must weigh at least five pounds right?) The thing about this is it's not healthy. I mean, my attitude for the day is completely based around that number that pops up in the morning.
Why? I know I shouldn't do it, but it's like an addiction for me. I guess it's because my magic "feel good" number is 130, so any time that number even says anything above 130.0, I get mad at myself. And it's so dumb. Like yesterday morning. I had weighed 130.2 on Tuesday morning. Then yesterday morning, the number 132.2 popped up and I got so mad. How could have I gained two pounds in one day?! That is absolutely ridiculous! And of course, my instant bad mood kicked in. I thought about every single thing I ate the day before, and what would have made me gain those 2 pounds in 24 hours.
But you know what? That number has absolutely nothing to do with my fitness level or how my clothes fit. And it shouldn't be the determining factor for my mood for the rest of the day. Because, your weight can fluctuate day to day from any number of things. And more often than not, that "extra weight" is mostly water retention. So I need to let myself remember that.
Now, I am sure a lot of you out there right now are just shaking your head at me, thinking that I am a complete idiot for being so hard on myself. Because 130+ pounds is a number that a lot of people strive for. And I'm not saying anything negative except about how hard I am on myself. I guess my problem lies in the fact that I used to be a heavy girl. And I still battle with that image everyday. I think that I always will.
So, yesterday, I made a decision. I am breaking up with my scale. I took the batteries out of that sucker last night and handed them to A. I told him to hide them and not let me know where he put them. I did this for my sanity; for my well being. And you want to know something? This morning, after my normal routine, after I got dressed for my workout, I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in a long time and was happy. I wasn't hard on myself for those extra 2-3 lbs of water weight I may or may not have retained yesterday. I don't know what my number is today and that is ok. In fact, it's amazing. I feel flipping fantastic and that is all that really matters!
So, bye-bye, you ugly devil of a scale. You were like the bad boyfriend that I was oh-so-happy to get rid of!! Here's to my new journey. One of being happy with how I feel and not what my stupid number is. And it feels absolutely amazing.
Until next time...