Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Girl Behind the Blonde Hair.

We've all done it.  Been out somewhere when we spot "that girl" that looks like she has it all together.  Her hair is perfectly styled, her makeup is flawless and her clothes are super cute.  We immediately are quick to judge her.  And whether we want to be or not, a small part of us is jealous of who she is...and we don't even know her. 

I will be the first to admit that I am guilty of this on a daily basis.  I judge a book by its cover.  Yes, we teach our children to NEVER do that, but we are, in fact, guilty of it ourselves.  More often than not, I typically assume that "that girl" is going to be snotty or too good for me, so I tend to ignore her and just go about my business, usually in my yoga pants, sweatshirt and baseball cap.  All the while thinking about what I can do differently to make myself more like her.  I should have worn my hair this way, or done my makeup that way...I should have worn those jeans with those shoes and that blouse, etc.  It's a never ending cycle for me.

But you know what?  We all are "that girl."  At one point or another, whether we know it or not, other people are looking at us and thinking the exact thoughts I just stated above.  Just because we aren't feeling like we look the part on a certain day doesn't mean that someone else isn't envious of who we are.  We need to be proud of the women that God created us to be.  Nobody is perfect.  And just because "that girl" looked like she had it all together that day doesn't mean her life is perfect.  She could be hiding behind her flawless look with burdens of her own.

I know that I, myself, have burdens and trials that are hidden behind my blonde hair and blue eyes.  I struggle with the fact that no matter how hard I try, I always want what others have and am constantly comparing myself to them.  I struggle with the image of myself from when I was 180 pounds and, to this day, still see myself as such, even though I'm 50 pounds lighter.  I don't feel as beautiful as my husband tells me that I am.  I actually am self conscious about my looks on a daily basis.  I don't see myself the way others see me and it can easily depress me.  (This video perfectly describes this)

I can hide behind the blonde hair and aviators, but I struggle with who I am everyday.

I feel guilty that my husband works as hard as he does to provide for our family, when I stay home and take care of the house and our son.  I feel like I am burdening him with all of the financial responsibility which makes me feel inadequate to be his wife; like I should want to be contributing to our family in that aspect. 
I am lucky to be this man's wife.

These are all things that I deal with on a daily basis.  I know that we all have trials and each individual person's are different, but ultimately they are all the same.  We need to be grateful for who we are, and what we were put on this earth to do.  I am trying everyday to truly believe this and I work hard everyday with acceptance.  Acceptance with the fact that I am a great mom, and a great wife.  I am great friend, daughter and sister.  That is what truly matters at the end of the day. 

This little man loves me no matter what!
Who are you trying to be and who do you need to learn to accept?      

1 comment:

  1. I just found your blog this week and since I cant sleep I am able to read it. We have a lot in common. This post just really struck home for me. Thank you for your honesty. You are the first person that I have ever heard express the feeling of guilt for staying home to raise a child. It has been my dream to be able to do that and now that I am there and doing so I feel so guilty. I never imagined I would and it bothers me. I'm actually happy to hear someone else understands that feeling. Thanks!

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