I'm just going to be honest...

So if you've been here long enough, you know that I've come a long way in my fitness journey.  I've lost 50 lbs, a large percentage of body fat and have been able to maintain that for about two years now by working out and eating "clean" 85% of the time.

Beginning and halfway points

Halfway point and today.

You would think that this little thing called maintenance would be easy.  But you would be wrong.  It's down right hard, y'all.  You might think that because I worked my butt off to get to where I am, that I would never want to touch another donut, piece of pizza, cheeseburger, or ice cream sundae ever again, right?  You probably think that my body is repulsed by those things that made me 50 lbs heavier.  Ha!  I crave them.  All. The. Time.
So what do I do when that brownie is calling my name at 9:30 at night?  Or when Madden's chicken nuggets and mac and cheese are staring me in the face at dinner time?  I have to use every ounce of will power to not just shove them in my pie hole.  The temptation is real.  It's like a force beyond my control.  When I use hashtags like #myinnerfatgirlishappy when I am eating something unhealthy that is no joke.  

Food was and always will be an addiction.  A type of drug for me.  If you've ever struggled with your weight, or are struggling right now, then you know exactly the addiction that I am talking about.  Unhealthy food fills a void that no amount of "clean eating" can.  Now, obviously I don't always give into those temptations, otherwise I would be back where I started.  And I worked too dang hard to get to where I am to ever go back down that path.

But the question is, will I ever not have to fight with this?  And if I'm being honest with myself, the answer is no.  Bad temptations will always be there.  Unhealthy choices will always be there.  I can't hide from them.  I can't run away from them.  But the truth of the matter is that this lifestyle I am living now is a choice.  Plain and simple.  I have the choice to control what I put in my mouth.  I have the choice to workout everyday or not.  I have a choice.

It's never going to be easy.  It's going to be down right hard as hell.  But this...where I am right here and now is worth it.

Now, not only do I have a choice to be healthy and work hard to maintain where I am right now, I also have the choice to be happy.  If I deprived myself from all things bad for me 100% of the time, I would be unhappy.  I would be crabby.  Nobody would want to be near me...That is why I say I eat clean 85% of the time.  I allow myself cheat meals.  Yes, I said cheat meal"s".  How, what and when do I indulge in my "cheats?" That's a topic I want to delve into tomorrow.  Because I am real.  I am just like you.  I am not a machine...

What questions do you have for me when it comes to my "clean eating" and my "cheats?"  What do you want to know about how I manage the space in between?  Leave your questions in the comments section and I will answer them tomorrow!

Until next time...