Tuesday, September 10, 2013

I'm just going to be honest...

So if you've been here long enough, you know that I've come a long way in my fitness journey.  I've lost 50 lbs, a large percentage of body fat and have been able to maintain that for about two years now by working out and eating "clean" 85% of the time.
Beginning and halfway points
Halfway point and today.
You would think that this little thing called maintenance would be easy.  But you would be wrong.  It's down right hard, y'all.  You might think that because I worked my butt off to get to where I am, that I would never want to touch another donut, piece of pizza, cheeseburger, or ice cream sundae ever again, right?  You probably think that my body is repulsed by those things that made me 50 lbs heavier.  Ha!  I crave them.  All. The. Time.
So what do I do when that brownie is calling my name at 9:30 at night?  Or when Madden's chicken nuggets and mac and cheese are staring me in the face at dinner time?  I have to use every ounce of will power to not just shove them in my pie hole.  The temptation is real.  It's like a force beyond my control.  When I use hashtags like #myinnerfatgirlishappy when I am eating something unhealthy that is no joke.  

Food was and always will be an addiction.  A type of drug for me.  If you've ever struggled with your weight, or are struggling right now, then you know exactly the addiction that I am talking about.  Unhealthy food fills a void that no amount of "clean eating" can.  Now, obviously I don't always give into those temptations, otherwise I would be back where I started.  And I worked too dang hard to get to where I am to ever go back down that path.

But the question is, will I ever not have to fight with this?  And if I'm being honest with myself, the answer is no.  Bad temptations will always be there.  Unhealthy choices will always be there.  I can't hide from them.  I can't run away from them.  But the truth of the matter is that this lifestyle I am living now is a choice.  Plain and simple.  I have the choice to control what I put in my mouth.  I have the choice to workout everyday or not.  I have a choice.
It's never going to be easy.  It's going to be down right hard as hell.  But this...where I am right here and now is worth it.

Now, not only do I have a choice to be healthy and work hard to maintain where I am right now, I also have the choice to be happy.  If I deprived myself from all things bad for me 100% of the time, I would be unhappy.  I would be crabby.  Nobody would want to be near me...That is why I say I eat clean 85% of the time.  I allow myself cheat meals.  Yes, I said cheat meal"s".  How, what and when do I indulge in my "cheats?" That's a topic I want to delve into tomorrow.  Because I am real.  I am just like you.  I am not a machine...

What questions do you have for me when it comes to my "clean eating" and my "cheats?"  What do you want to know about how I manage the space in between?  Leave your questions in the comments section and I will answer them tomorrow!

Until next time...


  1. Love this post! I need to find that motivation and restraint when it comes to the addiction... such a struggle but that doesn't matter, I need to get there!

  2. Thank you, you've said it so much better than I could. The struggle or journey never ends, if I ever consider myself "done" or "successful" then I've failed because my brain will sabotage me and want to go backwards.

    I am struggling finding or creating a chocolate cheat for my post dinner snack. I can't do shakes or dairy, but I'm usually peanut buttered out by that time! (impossible, I know!) Any suggestions on that sweet tooth?

  3. I don't know if you have a done this before or not, but I would love to see some of your clean meals - I want to try to eat cleaner but I don't want to go to the extreme and eating only organic, using crazy ingredients that I can only find at health food stores ... I need to be economical as well - so what are some examples of your clean meals and snacks?

  4. Oh, my dear twinnie!!! This post couldn't have been written any better!! It's like you can read my mind! You know my story and you also know how addicted I am to "fatty foods"! I love it!! I'm currently eating salt & vinegar chips! OOPS! Still holding strong at my 51 pounds! :)

    There will be a "new story" for me starting in about....ummm....April! LOL! I guess I'm over it for now ;)

  5. oooh I love this post!! I would love to read about a sample of your menu in a day. I have only recently been trying to "clean eat" - it's so hard especially with little ones around and my hubby who is so anti-anything-healthy. I'm always looking for ways to change things up so I don't get bored by what I am eating.

  6. Thanks for inspiring once again. What are some of your favorite "clean eating" recipes? I am thinking about doing some clean type freezer meals, my whole family needs to eat better. I just don't know where to start.

  7. I am right there with you. I know for a fact, I will ALWAYS have issues with food. Food and I have a love hate relationship for sure. And due to the fact that I am a recovering bulimic, I also have that crap haunting me, from time to time. BUT...what matters the most is that we are AWARE of it and we have learned how to deal and manage. Love this post!!!

  8. Nice post mate, keep up the great work, just shared this with my friendz
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