So today is a little deep for me. I like to keep things light hearted, energetic, humorous and uplifting for the most part around here, but something's been bothering me and I just wanted to vent on here, because I knew y'all would listen! Bless your sweet little hearts ;)
If you've been following me for any length of time, you know that fitness is a huge part of my everyday life. Like five out of six days of the week...but that wasn't always the case. I used to consume large amounts of food without lifting a finger, let alone a set of weights! I've worked hard to get to where I am today. My fitness didn't come easily. I have earned every pound lost, every muscle sculpted and every pant size dropped, the old fashioned way: diet and exercise.
I wasn't blessed with a high metabolism that allows me to eat whatever the heck I want. I've always struggled with watching what I put in my mouth because just looking at a cookie before I started working out would cause me to gain five pounds!
So answer me this: why did people tend to ignore and not give a hoot about my "before" but now feel the need to talk badly about my "after?" I have been called everything from anorexic, bulimic, to my favorite one ever: the liposuction queen. I mean, really?? I used to let it bother me, but I've decided that it is time for me to grow up. Be the bigger person and brush it off.
Is it jealousy? I'm sure. But if they only knew the truth. If only they knew that 50 lbs ago I would cry myself to sleep because I couldn't fit into my size 14 jeans and that I couldn't wear my wedding ring because I couldn't get it over my sausage fingers, so I decided to do something about it. To take control of my life.
If only they knew that in the process of whipping my ass into shape I would do two-a-days in 100 degree heat, on the verge of passing out, beet red in the face and panting like a hog in heat. Only to come home and have a salad with dressing on the side and an ice water for dessert. If only they could have seen me weigh in at the gym every other week, only down one or two pounds after putting myself through that hell. To turn around and bust my butt that much harder the next week. If only they knew that this was a process that didn't happen over night. That many tears were shed and the thought of giving up was in the back of my head every. single. day.
But I didn't. And even though the majority of them are talking behind my back, whispering negativity about where I am today, I have decided to hold my head high. I'm not going to lie, it's not easy to ignore them. In fact, it's a down right mental beating when I hear something that was negatively said about me, but I am the bigger person. I know what I've done to get to where I am and I am damn proud of it.
It's because of people like them that I push myself even harder every time I step foot in the gym. So no, I don't ignore them. I use their comments as ammunition to fuel my workouts and push me to my breaking point with every single mile ran, weight lifted and every minute of cardio I bust out every day. They may have stolen my pride for a short time, but they can't take away that motivation.
So to all the "nay-sayers" out there, I want to say thank you. It's because of you that I am where I am today. Yes, I did this all on my own, but you push me to continue. You may think you are tearing me down, but in fact, you are doing the opposite. I am building myself up...to make it so nobody can ever knock me down! Get used to this "after"...because it's here to stay.
Until next time...